Simply Me

My next home...seriously!

The standing joke that Tom and I now have is that I want to eventually move to a small farmette property with an even smaller house! I want something that can be kept clean with only minutes worth of work. That way, my free time can be spent doing things I want to be doing...like working with my horses and photography.

This would be perfect!

http://www.9news.com/rss/story.aspx?storyid=240493

 

In fact, we decided we should just by  "his and hers" and visit each other when the mood strikes. 

 

One word

There is a big thing on the 'net these days. Has been for a couple of years now, maybe more. A different spin on the "what are your New Year's resolutions this year?"

The idea is that you take one word, and one word only, to be sort of your mantra or watch-word for the coming year.  I generally shy away from big pronouncements or resolutions each New Year. I really stink at keeping to anything like that. I avoid setting myself up for failure wherever and whenever possible. 

Yet, the idea of choosing one word and trying to come up with that one word has been on my mind all week.  In my head, I have a whole laundry list of things I want to change. I won't bore you with them, as many of you probably have the same ones in your own head.

As I cleaned up "my side" of the basement yesterday so I could find my washer and dryer again, I was again thinking about this idea. Like a bolt of lightening, the word came to me:  Training

What I like about this word is that it suits all kinds of goals and plans and changes I'd like to see this new year.  So many of the other words that came to mind were so narrowly focused that it left out too much of what I want to accomplish. 

Some obvious "training" that I'd like to do this year is with my horses.  Izzy will be 4 this year and I want to get her pulling a cart this summer.  The younger four will all be 3 and eligible for such training too, but that may be a bit much.  Missy and Ethel need work on their show behaviors. And someone is going to be jumping and doing obstacle this year at the shows. Lucy is a natural choice for the obstacle because she is naturally curious and much less fearful than the average horse. The idea of taking 3 horse to a show though is a bit daunting. All the horses need worked in general, if nothing else but on their ground manner work. All need the excercise and stimulation of such training. And my latest EQUUS magazine has an article about what is the equivalent of dog agility training for horses. Without leads! That would be awesome.

The dogs could use some work too.  In general, they behave pretty well. I think Casey and Sadie should work together. Sadie's Border Collie side is predominant in her mix of breeds and I think she could literally shine with some very basic work. Casey could use the distraction that doesn't involve some sort of screen!

What other things besides the actual training of our animals do I have in mind? Training my brain to look at my "world view" differently is one thing. I know that the way I view things on a day to day basis, and more importantly how I react to them, is a great cause of stress for me.  I'd bet that a good 75% of my stress is self-induced. It's time to see how I can "re-train my brain" to make changes for the better.

There is more but I think I'll hold off adding anything more.  Stay tuned! 

And Happy New Year!

Let's do a Journal Jar entry...

Remember these?

I figured this would be a good blog entry starter. Kinda get the juices flowing a bit?  Especially since some of my favorite people did leave me comments on yesterday's entry about whether I should continue blogging at all. 

So what was my nicest compliment? That's any easy one. A couple of years ago, while talking with my sister Sandy about the kids she told me "You are a great mom."  

Why does this stick out for me?  Simple!  The mom that Sandy and I had was not a great mom. She had her moments, but when looking at the whole picture?  The sad fact is that her life was more about doing what was best for her than ever about what was best for her children. So much of our childhood was very traumatic because of the decisions she made that were about doing things that made life easier for her. Not better, just easier. 

So, to get such a compliment from my sister, who really knows the difference between a good and a not so good mom?  I floated on that for a very long time. I'm not perfect as a mom, I know that! Ask my kids...they'll be more than happy to tell you how I probably yell too much. Still, having someone else look in and say you're doing a good job at one of the hardest jobs you'll ever have is quite the compliment. 

Thanks Sandy!!

t-minus 7 days: Senior Year, Class of 2012

 It's here. Senior year. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. Didn't she just start KG?

I was all set to send her off to pick up her own supplies for the year at Staples this afternoon. Then I remembered I wanted to do a "Senior Year" project and buying supplies would be a good place to start, so now she has to wait on me. 

The problem is I can't remember where I got the idea. 

And I'm already hyperventilating a bit over putting a Graduation Party together. I don't "do" parties well. I'm okay with helping others, but not doing my own. I stress *way* too much over such things. I make myself and all those around me (aka: Tom) nuts in the process. Still, you'd think I could figure this out in the next 10 months or so.

Casey is entering 8th grade. I don't seem as bothered by this. I mean, he's sorta going into his middle school graduating year. Mentally, maybe my brain has decided it can only panic and fret over one uncontrollable thing at a time.  Check back with me come spring when we're deciding on what he should be taking in his freshman year of high school. 

Crap. Now I've gone and done it. We're 12 months away from having someone in college and someone in high school. 

Note to self:  make appointment with doctor and get larger supply of Xanax on hand. Just in case.

 

Happy 4th Everyone!

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.”  -- JFK

Getting back on track: Again

I've hit another one of those moments in time where I'm frustrated by the lack of things I get accomplished. I don't expect to be super human in this regard. I am far from a "Type A" personality, but I should still be able to manage to get more done when I do. When I do get things accomplished in a timely fashion, on a regularly basis, I know I feel better. So why does it seem that I do everything possible to create personal road blocks instead?

I know my #1 problem is wasting time. Some of you might be saying, "Uh...yeah, like blog writing?" You may be right. I do consider this part of my overall hobby of scrapbooking though. And I firmly believe we must all do those things that give us happiness and satisfaction on personal level and that's what hobbies are all about.  I actually need to stop wasting time doing other things so I do have time for my hobbies. And time that I don't feel guilty about or feel distracted from because of the other things I haven't gotten done.

I came across this quote just now:

" Stop asking for more time in your day, instead ask for better skills to work with the time you are given."  -- Jim Rohn

Pretty much sums up what I need to change. 

I've created a sort of "weekly" master schedule to start. It outlines my days so I can visually see what I'd like to be doing at various times each day. If I can get this schedule established in the way I have in my head, it will go a long way to helping me get the things done that need doing while still allowing me time to do the things I want to be doing.

The second key component is sleep. I'm fast falling back into some bad sleeping habits and its catching up with me. Lack of sleep means I don't have the energy (physically and mentally) to get through the tasks I need to be doing each day. The more I find myself drained like this, the more frustrating things get because I can't get anything done.

And with that, I need to go work on my Monday To-Do list!

Should I? Shouldn't I?

For those of you who follow the goings on at the NSBR forum board at Two Peas in a Bucket, there has been a huge to-do regarding a "celebrity" in the scrapbook world. I won't rehash it all here as you can read about it for yourself if you're so inclined. The reason I bring it up at all is that through this latest broohaha, I discovered my blog name is the same as this celebrity in question.

I've always felt "meh" about my blog name. I kinda just pulled it out of the air when I started writing this blog in 2006. Now, I think I want to put some thought and effort into the title. Additionally, I want to try and avoid choosing something that already is in use by anyone, let alone someone with a signficant presense in a particular online community/business.

IF I change the name, it's going to be a bit of pain. Anyone with this blog's current addy in a blog roll or reader (i.e., Google Reader), will lose the "connection" when I change the name because the name is part of the link. I could by my own domain name and transfer things (exactly how is something that I'm not sure about, but the help area says its do-able), but I don't want to put out money for this. The other drawback is all my posts with photos will have to be updated with new links.

Obviously, if I make a change, I need to do it at a point when I can put aside significant time for making the edits necessary. I've been wanting to make a new header, so maybe I'll work on that and then update everything at once.

I'm curious if any of my readers has done anything like this and what your experience was. Leave me a comment or email me, if you wouldn't mind.

With that, I'd better get back to it.

Ever feel the need for more?

As I face the coming year and the approach of having my first born with one foot out the door, along with a whole host of other things, I find myself wanting more. I want more than the same 'ol, same 'ol. I want to stop living a life where my days are simply a succession of hour after hour of the unextraordinary, monotonous daily grind.

You know:  where you get up, go to work (or not), do your 8 hours, come home, make dinner, fight over whose turn it is to do what, lament over the laundry that still isn't doing itself, look in dismay at how much work needs to be done around the house knowing that you have nothing left in you to deal with, etc. How you find yourself staring at the tv unseeing because that's the only thing you can physically and mentally manage. And as each day passes, with this daily scenario playing out, you realize in your heart and head that this is not an infinite life you lead. There is an end. And when you come to that end, what will you have to look back on?

When I contemplate that question, I find myself cringing. I am not happy with what I have to look back on so far. Sure, I have a great husband of 20+ years. Amazing kids whom I would give my life to save theirs. I am blessed with a nice, basic home. I have most creature comforts one could ask for in this day and age. Yet, I feel so unfulfilled and empty at times. Am I asking too much? Am I being foolish? Is this all there is and should be? 

I don't think so. I see others living lives that seem fuller and richer. And I am not talking about money or other material things AT ALL. Those other people I view with envy are actually some of the least materialistic people I know. I don't think the answer for me is to throw all my material possessions out the door. In fact, I will state right now that I will be keeping them thank you very much! 

I just want to be able to wake up in the morning knowing that the day ahead has promise and meaning. And when I close my eyes each night, know that I've done all *I* can to make it happen. That I just didn't shuffle my way through my day in the classic robotic fashion that has become the norm for me. 

So exactly how am I to achieve this? What is the first step? Where do I start? What has fueled this desire even more so right now?

This:   http://www.incourage.me/2011/01/come-take-the-dare-to-live-fully.html

I've been a member of the Bloom Book club for several books now although I haven't really participated up to now. This book however, got my attention and I mean *my full attention*. The very first chapter took my breath away. I cannot wait to see how the discussions build around each chapter during this session.

Let me know if you sign up to participate...side discussions would be really cool!

She's my "heart horse"

(forgive me while I "wax poetic" for a moment  )

I really work hard to never show favoritism with my kids, mainly because I love 'em both so much that I couldn't ever pick one over the other.

When it comes to our horses and dogs though, I allow myself a little leeway. Our miniature Dachshund is my "heart dog". There's just something that little extra special about her that I can't explain.

And the same goes for one of our yearlings. Well, she's closer to being a two yr old now, I guess. Baby is just a little something special that grabs my heart practically every time I go out to the barn to be with them. Sure, Izzy will always be special as our "first." Missy is our "princess" pony with the finer bone structure and gorgeous light color mane and tail to go along with her gorgeous silver bay coat. Cha Cha? Well she's a gorgeous girl but such a diva!

Then there's Baby. She's low man on the herd's totem pole. She doesn't let that get her down though. She has no problem getting what she needs and she's not afraid to push the others around in order to have some fun. She's our clown too. Our pasture sentry...no cat dares to come in there while she's around! She's not terribly vocal, I think it's because she knows she has the silliest sounding whinny in the bunch. But she's the first one to come greet me in the morning. 

This is a shot from last July. It was early in the morning after I had fed them. I love these kind of mornings. It is so peaceful and quiet. I love the sense of calm I have when I spend my time with my girls. 

How did I live so long without them?

Back to Reality

And this picture pretty much reflects how I feel about the matter! 

I have thoroughly enjoyed being a total slug since I last left my office on December 17th. On most mornings, Tom left me sleeping and took care of kids and horses and dogs so I didn't have to. Its been years since I've been able to sleep past 8:00 am. Now? 10:00am is NO problem.

Except for the fact that I should be getting up at 5:30am most mornings. Tomorrow could be a problem.

And when I say I've been a slug for the last two weeks? I mean a slug. I have gotten *some* things done but on the whole not nearly enough. This means that today I'll be scrambling to get a few things done that have been left to the last possible moment. And these are things that can't be pushed off any more.

Why?  Having clean clothes is a nice thing when returning to work and school. Pre-planning meals and buying groceries ahead of time is also a good thing. That's  just a couple of "for instances".

Will I get it all done? Nah...not even gonna try. It's not worth the stress and aggravation. I knew as I played Mrs. Slug over the last many days that I would have consequences. Like I tell my kids all the time, you make choices and you live with the consequences. These are my consequences!

And speaking of those consequences, I have to head to the grocery store!